2.3 TWILIGHT TIME
All that autumn you collected assorted huesof russet - brittle oak leaves - a scorched late night TV love affair - onion peelings of sunburned skinand tiny bones dug from your last potato bedEvery...
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I like this line: "TV love affair - onion peelings of sunburned skin." S3 is amazing! And the arrowheads of S3, then the flint edge of the last S is a nice touch. Sonically, this is good on the ears...
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Very lyrical and intriguing, the described person seeming to slowly lose adulthood. Love the last line!
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i'll try not to say too much. i found myself questioning some of your phrases but then sucking back my objections because of how you followed them...or framed the questionable phrases -- example --...
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The flint edge of another chance spilling over the kitchen chairs we had become this is a fine take on people having become furniture I do think stripping down some would serve, also.
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This is the stanza that grabbed me: At November’s end you became seven again preoccupied with collecting shiny Shawnee arrowheads from your daddy’s Ohio creek bed Yes, good ending, too. Maybe not too...
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